“You can’t have half a title!” (voice from the back)
It’s my blog, I can have what I like. Next?
Remember yesterday’s blog when I wrote about 3 internet lies? One of them was when someone says “You’ve got to know programming, HTML, graphic design before you can…etc.” The next step is to have the confidence to do it anyway. How?
1. Believe in Yourself.
Do you wonder if you’re on the right path? You know, doing the right thing, in the right job, that sort of thing?
Who do you ask? Your boss? Your friends, maybe your partner? Or maybe you wait for “feedback”, a bit of encouragement from your senior manager perhaps.
Instead of looking “outside” for some sense of how you’re doing, how about looking inside? Check out how you feel about your job, if you believe you’re doing the right thing.
What I’m really asking here is “Do you trust yourself? Do you believe in yourself?” If your answer is yes, why are you asking other people?
2. Take Responsibility.
When you stop asking others if you’re in the right job, doing the right thing, etc., you stop having someone to blame when things go wrong.
“You should’ve…”, “You could’ve…”, “Well, if you hadn’t…” Any of these sound familiar? Yes, they’re all “blame” phrases.
Learn to rely on yourself, to rely on your own judgement. There’s nothing to stop you discussing it with others but it’s more “grown up” to decide for yourself. It also means that if it goes tits-up, you are accountable. No more blaming other people for your decisions.
Now – that can be scary the first couple of times. Then you get used to it because believing in yourself and trusting your instincts (“your gut feelings”) gives your confidence such a massive boost!
3. How Do You Start?
Start by listening to your inner voice and being aware of your gut feelings – pay attention because they won’t repeat it when you grunt “Yer what?” at them.
Trust yourself to make decisions. Trust yourself to get used to doing it differently. Enjoy the looks of shock you’ll get from the people you used to ask for advice from. That rocked it for me!
When I started doing it, I used to think of my confidence as a muscle. Each time I made a decision on my own, I exercised my confidence muscle.
4. Getting Stronger.
In the beginning, my confidence muscle lived in my little toe. As it got stronger – as I used it more which exercised it – the muscle moved to bigger places where it would become more important.
A year later, my confidence muscle is exercised all the time to keep it big and strong.
No more “I’m not good enough” or “I don’t really want it.” Yes I am and yes I do.
It’s about being willing to take a risk. A teeny-weeny risk at first, then a teeny risk, then a tiny risk, then a small risk, then a smallish risk. Get my drift?
Open yourself up to opportunities and push yourself to grab hold of them. I used to expect opportunities to fall in my lap. Needless to say, they didn’t. Now I go “out there” and find them.
What are you going to do?